So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
