watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
