Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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