she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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