THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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