i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
