I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
