I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize