guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
