How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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