hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
