Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
