too bad you live with your parents still
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize