You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
