$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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