I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Randomize
