he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
