it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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