i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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