Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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