Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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