Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
