Buhtt sex?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
