Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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