did you get engaged???
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
