I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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