Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
