Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You can't just leave with hair like that
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
