just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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