my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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