go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
