I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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