so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
