he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
