I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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