just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
