I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
did i just pee glitter
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize