all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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