see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
