My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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