i just wanna soil my oats bro
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
