Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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