Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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