If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Randomize