yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
