dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize