you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
where are you?
Hypothermia
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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