Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i drank out of a bidet.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We left the knife in your bed.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
