Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
