i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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