Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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