i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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