My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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