some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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