My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
