so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
