Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
