How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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