we have officially lost it.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Randomize
