I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
