if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I want a musical about memes.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
