and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
