I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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