A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
